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Self-Care for the Perfectionist!

“You don’t need to be perfect to inspire others. Let people get inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.” Unknown

"When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don't fit with who we think we're supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving." This is a quote by renowned author and speaker Brene Brown. The old Kinda so epitomized this quote that it still makes me wince when I read it. As I get deeper into my fifth decade of life I can gratefully say that there is more distance between the old Kinda and the (older) wiser Kinda of today. This certainly doesn't mean that I'm perfect or have it all figured out. On the contrary, it just means that I'm that much more accepting of the fact that NONE OF US IS PERFECT AND HAS IT ALL FIGURED OUT.

Today when I fail or don't meet some self-imposed expectation I am able to move on much more quickly. Mind you, this is something I've worked on over the last thirty-plus years by perfecting failure! A failed attempt at being the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect wife or mother. I am none of these things, and yet I grow in my sense of worthiness and self-love with each attempt and failure.

How could this be? As I've grown in my self-care practices over the last several years I've come to realize that the deeper truth is that there is one thing that I can never fail at- LOVE. For each time that I put myself out there, be it a relationship, a new endeavor, or some courageous story that I share with another, I am able to show myself compassion and self-love.

I believe that we all have our struggles and strife. This is a part of life that we cannot escape, no matter how much we try. But with each struggle, we discover a well of power that we never even knew was within us!

This is one reason that Rachel and I are so passionate about self-care! We know because we know. Not because we know better. We also know that this is not some magical destination that we just suddenly arrive at one day. No, it is a lifelong magical journey.

We want you to join us on this journey and experience the magic for yourself! We are ALL going to bump up against some obstacles and roadblocks. Why not be ready for them?! Our next 30 Day Self-Care Challenge begins on May 1st. During this challenge, we are going to embrace our imperfections and our imperfect attempts at self-care! We are going to redefine what it means to be self-centered and WHY it is NECESSARY!

We are going to "flip the script" on why being self-centered is NOT selfish! This is the lie that we've been sold since practically the beginning of time! In my twenties, I was the PERFECT people pleaser. I thought I was this amazing giver, listener, and helper. It took me another decade to realize what an ego trip that was! To think that I could fix other people's problems!

After twelve years of marriage, I finally learned that we must all start by helping ourselves. By being healthy individuals. By showing ourselves love and compassion. I left my "perfect" marriage (that's what it looked like on the outside) and finally set out on a path of true discovery and self-love. This was the greatest gift that I could give not only to myself but those around me that I thought I was "helping!"

With each phase of life, we discover new and exciting gifts if we can only sit with our imperfections long enough! If we can only accept that we make mistakes, as parents, friends, and lovers. Not only will we make mistakes that must be forgiven, but so will our children, our colleagues, our spouses, and our leaders.

By no means does this mean that we must stand by, or constantly let others misuse us. We must set boundaries for exactly this reason. Those we love are sure to screw up. They are sure to hurt our feelings. They are sure to say the wrong thing and not show up the way that we want or expect. We are all flawed. No matter what Instagram or Facebook look like!

What I have come to realize these days is we are innately wise. Our intuition is always guiding us if we only listen. The "knowing" what to do is always trying to get a word in edgewise. If only we would get still long enough for it to be heard. Our coaching and events are geared toward facilitating the quiet and the opportunities for being self-centered. No one wants to be constantly told what to do. They KNOW what they need to do. I couldn't possibly have all of the answers for you. Coaching is about empowering YOU to dig deeper to reveal the truth that has been whispering to you all along. Coaching is about creating opportunities to allow the truth to surface and compassionately urging you toward that truth with courage and compassion.

So, what are you waiting for? Your invitation is always there, just waiting for you to RSVP.

With Love and Gratitude,

Kinda and Rachel

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