We make countless decisions in a day. So many in fact, that our brain automates many decisions so that we don’t have to think about it. We must decide every day. What will I eat for breakfast? When am I going to exercise? When will I take that much-needed breath for myself so that I can show up for my kids, my husband, my friends? Decide. How much time will I spend scrolling through social media? What time will I go to bed? Decide. Sometimes decisions seem sooooo hard. I’m not even talking about the big decisions! I’m talking about the little things. How can it be so hard to decide what to make for dinner? Anthony Robbins says “It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” There it is- decide your destiny! That’s just a little overwhelming! And scary!
One way we can walk the fear back and ease the load on our brain is to create habits that support our goals. Most of us have heard that it takes roughly 30 days to create a new habit, but it might be a lot easier than we think. For instance, my garage door opener broke recently. When it broke I had to manually hit the button to stop the door when it reached the bottom. Otherwise, it would pop back up again! The first several times that this happened, I would inevitably forget and the door would pop back up. Frustrated, I would hit the button quickly to start the process again until I got the door closed. It didn’t take long before my brain automated this procedure and I no longer had to think about it. This week the garage door opener was fixed and low and behold, habit still intact, I keep reaching to hit the button for the second time to stop the door until I remember that I no longer need to do that! I’ve caught myself a few times, but I’m already reprogramming my habit.
If we can COMMIT (decide) and be CONSISTENT (create habits), then we can CELEBRATE (goals accomplished!)
So commit. To what? Well, that’s going to take some quiet time to determine what your values are and what you want to work on. In other words, meditate. Take a minute. Pray. Whatever you want to call it. You’ve got to spend some time being still to get some clarity. Once you get some clarity it helps to know WHY you want to commit to a thing. So, you want to eat better. Why? When you know WHY it helps you push through the pain. I heard a podcast recently about brain health and how nutrition plays a role in decision making. So, why eat well? Well, for one reason, did you know that 90-95% of serotonin (the happy hormone) is produced in the gut? Boom!
Next, schedule it. Nothing happens unless you schedule it. Leaving it to chance doesn’t get it done! You want to start exercising? Get your calendar out on Sunday night and pick a time and put it on the calendar. Pick a day and time and DO IT. No excuses. Yes, you have time. That’s just what we tell ourselves when we don’t have a why, or we forget our why.
Once you have made the commitment you’ve got to work on building some consistency to create a habit. I’m not sure where I first heard the idea about starting so small that you cannot fail, but let me tell you it works! Most of us want to create a new habit, but make the mistake of setting ourselves up for failure because we bite off more than we can chew! Start SMALL. You want to start eating better? You probably shouldn't throw out everything in the pantry and refrigerator and say you're going vegan! Maybe commit to adding a piece of fruit at breakfast. Or once a week replace your daily soda with sparkling water. Make it something doable. Something that you absolutely know you can do no matter what excuse you come up with! Once you are consistently meeting your small goal, up it by just a little. The idea shouldn’t be “go big or go home!” You want consistent small steps in the direction of your goals. As John C. Maxwell said, “It’s not about what you do in a day; it’s about what you do daily!”
Now the fun part- CELEBRATE! We get so caught up in the DOING, that we don’t often take the time to celebrate the small successes along the way! When we can recognize and reward ourselves for our forward progress it makes the whole process so much more enjoyable! We all need to celebrate more! Find a way to treat yo-self! And it doesn’t need to be anything extravagant, it can be as simple as acknowledging to yourself or someone that cares about you “hey, I did it!” Our brain is looking for that reward.
We want to support you in your goals. Join us for one of our online events, workshops or retreats! Becoming self-centered is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. It happens one step at a time.
With Love & Gratitude,
Kinda and Rachel